Preserving Employees Wellness Programs Act

In another brilliant naming triumph, the Republicans have come up with the "Preserving Employees Wellness Programs Act."

Who can be against the wellness of employees? Sounds like a law even labor unions can back. 

I'm for well employees, even wellness, whatever that is. Sounds benign. Sounds good. Sounds modern. Wellness. That's more than just good health. That's, feeling, well. How're feeling? Well! I have gone to the well. I am Well man.  I am luxuriating in my own wellness.

Mutants: Can breathe underwater

But, actually, this one has that ol' Republican poison pill embedded. 
This is another one that the Republicans concocted for their corporate masters. Another one for their corporate masters, because, you know, they are the job creators.
Remember the job creators?
Turns out the job creators do not want to hire anybody for their companies who might harbor some genetic abnormality, so they want to screen their employees for genetic mutations that might mean they'd have to go out on sick leave.

Looks healthy, but what about her DNA?

That's really what this bill is all about. 
Here, sign right here. Pee in this cup so we can run drug screening on you. Sign up for your benefits package which includes health insurance for catastrophic illness, which we truly hope you are not genetically programmed to get, and by the way we are going to run a little screen on your genes to be sure.

I got nothing genetic to hide

It's nothing racial, you understand. We are just very into hiring people who will not get sick on us.  After all, when we hire you, we are making a bet on you. You say you are also making a bet on us? That may be true, but we have a way of looking into your future. Can you blame us for trying? 

You want to check my what? 

Hey, we even have a wellness program, which includes yoga, morning calisthenics and Tai Chi. But, before you get too attached, let us just do a little screening test. 

Welcome to Corporate World.