Trump Will Eat Your Pets!

Everybody's saying it. And I saw it on TV, so it must be true.

All those ketchup ladened French Fries thrown against the wall, were part of a special "Cat and Dog" dish he likes.

And there are miles of caravans, thousands of criminals and insane asylum escapees headed your way, especially if you live in Michigan, Pennsylvania, Georgia or Arizona all because they want to go to his massive rallies, which are bigger than any rallies in the history of the world and definitely not boring. 

Those are the best places for out-of-staters to feast. Ohio was just the beginning.

South Carolinians are crossing the border into North Carolina and not the best ones--they don't send their best; they send the pet eaters.

And don't get me started on Maryland, which is where, you know, the Wire happened, and all those bodies wound up in the vacant houses and Hannibal Lecter had a field day. Jodie Foster was lucky to escape with her life. Oh, lovely Jodie. Poor Jodie, you know she was a child hooker before she became an FBI agent? Very sad. And Maryland shares a border with Pennsylvania: Marylanders are just pouring across that Southern border into Pennsylvania by the thousands, looking for pets, and women, White women. They eat the pets and rape the women in Pennsylvania. 

Is Hillary out of jail yet? You know we didn't lock her up long enough. I bet she's headed to Springfield right now. She has a taste for a certain type of cat, I don't know which type, but she's a very nasty woman with a big cat appetite.

Did you know he could shoot someone on 5th Avenue and nobody would blink an eye and his fans would still vote for him? Everyone says so.

 He's done worse, really. Raping that woman, who was definitely not his type, in the back of that store and we won't even talk about Jeffrey Epstein, but you'd be surprised what we are finding out about him! That was the Clintons who did Jeffrey, who was a very nice guy. A good friend of Alan Dershowitz, you know.

And Alan just changed parties: He's no longer a Democrat. He couldn't stand being forced to eat dogs, which is what all Democrats do. But Republicans don't stop at the cats and dogs--they go after the children, or at least White children. White Christian children.

But the best part is, if you vote right, you'll never have to vote again, ever. Which is such a pain. Having to wait in line with all those foul, stinky immigrants the Democrats imported to vote for them but are now voting for Republicans, which is just so perfect. Really.

Really, I don't know why I bother. 

You can take a bullet for Democracy and all you get is complaints.