Sunday, February 12, 2017

American Health Care: We're the Greatest!

Yes, I know, it's a little confusing.  Senator Cruz, Secretary Price, President Trump, and a host of others say America has the greatest medical care in the world. Doctors from all over the world want to come here to train in medicine (except, of course, those nasty Trojan horses who are actually coming here to blow up our buildings and mass murder our people. But these dangerous doctors are really no problem because they always try to catch a plane from Iran, Iraq, Yemen, Somalia or Afghanistan, so we can screen them out.)  Anyway, our medical health care system is just so Fantastic, let me tell you.

We know this because all the Canadians want to leave their worthless socialized National Health system behind and flood across the northern border so they can get their hips replaced at the Cleveland Clinic.  We are working on that--maybe a wall, or maybe just something like a sobriety test at the border crossings, but only for hip health--everyone who looks the least suspicious, or who has a cane or a crutch has to do twenty-five deep squats to show their hips and knees are working. Of course, not many Americans can do more than 10 deep squats, but that's because they are overweight, and anyway they carry American passports; it's the Canadians we need to screen.

This, ordinarily, might not make sense--if our healthcare system is such as disaster, after all, we've got Obamacare, why then are we so much better than the Canadians?
I guess what Mr. Cruz would say is even at our worst, we are still better than the Canadians. 

And nobody can match us for the number of MRI's we do per capita, not even the Brits, who are so snooty about their National Health system.  You know their MRI's couldn't be as good, because their MRI's cost only $75, where ours cost $4,000, so what kind of off brand, no account MRI's can the Brits have?

They are just a failing health care system over there. Who ever heard of medical students going to Britain to train from other countries, like India, Pakistan, or America? 

Well, actually, they do. I went to England for a rotation as an American medical student, where I met lots of other medical students from America and all over the world. 


Sir Peter Mansfield, creator of the MRI
And, the thing is, it was the Brits who did all the basic physics which led to the MRI and they made the first MRI.  Bloke named Peter Mansfield did it. University of Nottingham. Oxford and Cambridge, eat your hearts out. Sir Peter did it.
Actually, he wasn't even the first Brit to revolutionize diagnosis in the 20th century--the CT was developed in Britain under that failing National Health system they got there. Such a disaster. Really, I assure you, our American way is so much better, just so much better. The difference is huge. We make the best health care dollars in America. Trust me.

And we do so many more C-sections here, it's just no contest. Not even close. Of course, our maternity mortality and our infant mortality are both way worse than in the U.K., but those are pretty lame measures of public health and the success of a health care system, compared to the profit margins. The profit margin, that's the real measure of the health of a health care system. 
What you really want to track is how many doctors across the world want to come here. And we've got every other system beat cold on that. 
And you ask the doctors why they want to come here and they'll tell you we've got the best system in the world, hands down. Well, some of the Muslim doctors will tell you they want to come here to kill infidels, I mean, they all want to kill us, even the doctors,  but setting aside the Muslims, they all love us around the world, those other doctors.
Indian doctors come here whenever we let them. They make ten times what doctors in India make when they come here. Same for all the other countries. Our doctors are on the gravy train--all those MRI's and C-Sections and you name it. Medicine here in America is such a cash cow. It's HUGE.

Did I tell you Obamacare is a disaster?


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