Homeland Instructs

Carrie Mathison

Allison Ruthless Carr

The Donald has a plan to do what Barack Obama has failed time and time again to do--i.e. to extinguish ISIS.  It's very simple, really. We just bomb the whatever out of them.  Ted Cruz would do more, because, of course, Mr. Obama has never thought of this: Cruz would not only bomb ISIS, but he would carpet bomb ISIS and bomb them not just back to the stone age,  but he would bomb them so much the sand under which those camel drivers stand would glow, or melt or turn to glass, or something. 

The Phantom, however knows both these guys are clueless. He knows this because he watches "Homeland" where he has learned terrorists elude detection, despite the fact they all look like Arabs and they live in places like Berlin and Washington, D.C., where despite the prevailing whiteness, they can exploit the new Cosmopolitan look of these cities to more or less melt in. 

What the Phantom has learned from "Homeland" is that bombs are worthless against people who are interwoven with ordinary, innocent citizens. What you need is human intelligence.  To be more specific, you need intelligent intelligence officers who can track down leads based on a single observation, like looking at the wound on Quinn's abdomen and realizing he must have had sophisticated medical care and then tracing back from the spot he was found to find the doctor, who leads you to the room where the terrorists left their maps of the Berlin subway system.

And Carrie does not get faked out by the misinformation floated by other sly operatives who know just how to throw the police off the track.

Horrific as drive by shootings and pipe bombs are, Saran gas in subways (which actually happened once, in Japan and could easily happen here) and dirty bombs (which happened once in the movie "Peacemaker") are even worse.  You can bomb ISIS all you want--it won't help with the nasties who live among us.

Which is why the Donald wants to round them all up and throw them into internment camps. 

Which is really pretty remarkable, when you think about it: Republicans were so terrified of the 30 odd prisoners at Gitmo they refused to allow them to be transferred to maximum security prisons in the USA.  Republicans were so frightened they didn't want any of these scary guys in Alcatraz or Sing Sing or any place on the Continental US of A, because, you know,  one of them might escape. And then where would we be?
But having a million Muslims in camps all over America, that doesn't bother Republicans, or, as we call them in New Hampshire, Republicons, because the Donald calls it the "Democrat" party and because they are contrary and con artists.  but getting back to the Muslims thrown into concentration camps--they would not be scary or even a problem, because, you know, they would be at camp. None of them would get upset about that. If a few escaped, they'd just go back to driving taxi cabs. No harm there. 

What the Donald needs is Carrie Mathison advising him on national security.  Let Ted Cruz make do with Alison Carr, who may not be trustworthy, but she is very cute, and they really are soul mates, those two.