Emotional Support Animals: Snowflakes

 A fight broke out at a recent dinner party when I mentioned that "The Sound of Music" production by Ogunquit Playhouse at the Portsmouth Music Hall was marred by a sort of squeaking, howling coming from someone's "emotional support animal" in the audience, who seemed to want to sing along with various songs including "A Few of My Favorite Things," and "Do Re Me" and "Climb Every Mountain."

It was distracting, if not show stopping. When I declaimed that emotional support animals are a symptom of a snowflake society, and should be banned and their owners told to grow up and act their age,  I was roundly chastised as sounding like the host's father, which I was assured was not a compliment, and my wife added this was proof I am a bigot, harboring ill will toward the disabled. I became Public Enemy Number One.

But, of course, the animal had to be allowed to distract the 700 people in the Music Hall, because, Heaven Forfend, the owner might not have not been able to attend without that emotional support and security offered by that animal, which may have been a dog, or possibly a hamster with a robust baritone.

Not being smart enough to simply retreat into my non alcoholic beer, I added that some people are allowed to flaunt their fragility, their vulnerability, their need for their security blankets in public seems to me bad taste at best, and a sign of the impending collapse of Western Civilization at worst.

Why grown people, semi-adults, are allowed to drag around living security blankets, Pooh bears, or whatever is beyond me. I mean, suppose an adult woman carried around a stuffed bear and sucked her thumb in a theater or on a bus or an airplane? What would you say? But if that stuffed orangutan is in fact alive, a real animal, well then we should all smile and coo and say, "Well, isn't that sweet and wonderful?"

I cannot imagine Vladimir Putin would allow this.

Maybe that's the only argument for emotional support animals (ESA).

I don't need an ESA; I need a gun

But I doubt Volodymyr Zelensky would be very happy about any of that, given that he has an entire nation in need of emotional support, and the last thing they right now need is whimpering women, or men, who claim they have special needs above and beyond the ordinary, which entitles them to special consideration.

A turkey, not toilet trained, showed up for a United Airlines flight. What was its owner looking for? Attention? Fawning obeisance?

What if that passenger had brought along a tarantula to calm her nerves?

Everything from peacocks to tarantulas to geese have been claimed. In New Hampshire, you need a letter from a "licensed mental health practitioner," who, I would submit, should require a letter of his own to call himself that.

Who are these people who demand to be coddled and simpered over? 

And what do you think Donald Trump would do with this as a campaign issue?

Saying the Unspeakable: Words We Are Afraid to Say

 

Cohen v California

George Carlin's famous riff on the 7 deadly words you cannot say on the airwaves made its way to the Supreme Court. (FCC v Pacifica Foundation)

Mr. Carlin

"There are over 400,000 words in the English language," Carlin noted, "But these 7 words must be awfully bad: They'll grow hair on your palms, and, Heaven Forbid, make us leave Vietnam without honor."

But, before this, in another case, Cohen v California (1971) the lawyer for the defense managed to win his case by speaking the unmentionable word in the Supreme Court chambers, "Fuck the Draft"  the lawyer said. "That's what was printed on the jacket of the defendant, and it is his first amendment right to have it there."  Had the lawyer not had the courage to say the word "fuck" in front of the Supreme Court, it has been argued, he would have been conceding the case to the prosecution, that there are some words which are simply so horrible, they cannot be said in public.

Orthodox Jews of some sect believe the word for God, "Yaweh" or "YHWH" is so sacred it cannot or ought not be uttered by the lips of mere mortals.

I would submit there are words which we dance around with euphemisms like "the N word" or "the F word" which should be stated and written, not with * marks to replace the letters we all know, for fear of what? Of staining the purity of the women and children in the room?

Consider Randy Newman's wonderful, powerful song, "Rednecks" in which he calls out squeamish Whites who think themselves pure and holier than thou because they don't use the word "Nigger" all the while denying them jobs, freedom and opportunity.

Randy Newman

Now your northern Nigger's a negro
You see he's got his dignity
Down here we're too ignorant to realize
That the North has set the Nigger free

Yes he's free to be put in a cage
In Harlem in New York City
And he's free to be put in a cage
On the South Side of Chicago
And the West Side
And he's free to be put in a cage
In Cleveland
And he's free to be put in a cage
In East St. Louis
And he's free to be put in a cage
In Fillmore in San Francisco
And he's free to be put in a cage
In Roxbury in Boston
They're gatherin' 'em up from miles around

Keepin' the Niggers down!

They are too genteel to say the N word, but they are just fine with putting them in cages.

I would submit there are no words so sacred or so profane they ought never be spoken. That position is one of fear and feeble wokeness. 

That words are bleeped out in podcasts, which are actually subscription items, not on the airwaves which could be inadvertently tuned into by the father driving his child to school with the radio on, strikes me as an expression of faint heartedness and prissiness to the extreme. 

Use the words, to shock, as that lawyer did in the Supreme Court. He thought he would be bodily dragged out of the Court that day, but speaking the word allowed the justices to consider the actual fact, rather than suppressing truth and refusing to face the actual issue.

For the same reason, I believe Pornhub and other porn channels which show actual people having actual sex is a significant advance in sex education and a benefit to 21st century life and mental health.  Once sex is actually shown, Western Society does not dissolve; likely many children have watched, fascinated, and been unimpressed, after the 50th video and they realize: There, I've seen this secret thing, and it's not all that earth shaking--it's just sex.

Using * to replace offensive words is a snowflake move. It is born of fear and an effort to suppress expression and opinion. 

Use of words like "fuck" and "shit" are most often the result of inadequate vocabulary and are a sign of  mental immaturity.  They are verbal exclamation points, at best and a verbal/mental tick, at worst.

In "Billy Budd" the simple, pure Billy Budd strikes his superior officer, Claggart, because Budd is incapable of formulating his own defense against an unjust charge, verbally, so he strikes out with his fist. This is what so many vocabulary/verbally deficient people do when they throw "fuck you" or "you're a shithead" at their opponent. All this should be discussed openly. The resort to this sort of four letter rejoinder means you've already lost. That ought to be said, taught in school. Everyone should understand this. 

Another reason "The Wire" should be required viewing in school.

The Wire: Fourth Season

I'm not saying students in a formal setting, like a classroom, should be free to tell the teacher to "fuck off." The student should know there is a difference between private settings and public settings. The student should know the words he hears his parents' home will not be tolerated in a public classroom, and that this demand for different behavior is not the oppression of the White man but simply what constitutes discipline and rules. And he learns rules are important if he wants to guide his destiny to success rather than school expulsion and, ultimately, jail.

And Io think these lessons should be taught directly in inner city schools and discussed in suburban White majority schools, frankly and openly.

The Academy (Hampton, NH)

We should discuss in schools why some words are offensive and we should discuss why some dress is inappropriate in school but not necessarily at a nightclub.

This is part of what we should learn and what should be addressed, not taught, but openly explored, in public schools.