Driving License Written Exams: Your Tax Dollars at Work

When I was 16, my mother drove me out to the Montgomery County, Maryland driver's test in our 1955 Oldsmobile, which had the size and agility somewhere between  that of a Ford Expedition or a small cabin cruiser.  I flunked the test twice, unable to maneuver it into the parking space they made you use which was meant for a much smaller car. Finally, my brother taught  me how to drive a stick shift and I passed the test in our VW bug. 

The absurdity of having to park a large car in a small space because that's the only space the government would allow and why parking a car was considered so critical never made any sense to me.

A neighbor's kid recently suffered the same indignity, but this time on the written exam for a New Hampshire's driver's license. Looking at a sampling of questions, I realized there is no way I could pass this exam, having driven for decades:

1/ When entering a highway from an entrance ramp, you should generally:

Enter slowly to avoid other vehicles
Accelerate to the speed of traffic
Stop first, then slowly enter traffic
Enter above the speed of traffic to get ahead

I would say when entering a road you might, depending on the road, do any of 
the first three: stop first (if there's a car coming); 
enter slowly if you have obstructed vision 
as you do on the ramp at the Hampton tolls getting onto 95, 
where cars are coming from behind you, 
or enter and try to get up to speed. 
So I miss this question.
Actually, there are no really good strategies for getting on to I-95 
other than prayer.

2/ To reduce the effects of headlight glare at night, you should look:

Over your shoulder.
To the right edge of the road.
Straight ahead.
At the center of the road

To avoid headlight glare, I have tried all of the above 
(except looking over 
my shoulder, and I may yet try that one) 
but I can tell you,none of these work, 
especially if the headlights are from a BMW 
with those bright, white halogen lights which go right through you
 so anyone sitting behind you can see your skeleton

3/ When approaching a railroad crossing you should:

be ready to stop
slow down
all of the above
look for a train

When approaching a rail road track you should clearly slow down 
and be
ready to stop, so these are "all of the above"
 But also true is you would 
probably be wise to look for the train, 
which is not "above," because it is,
in fact,  below. 

4/ What does an orange-colored sign mean?

construction ahead
start of a no-passing zone
railroad ahead
school zone ahead

I have seen many orange construction signs 
but also other orange signs,
and frankly, I can't remember
 if I've seen any of the others in orange,
but orange is the new black, so anything's possible. 
As a last resort you might want to try 
reading what is on the sign.

5/ If another car is in danger of hitting you, you should:

Wave your arms
Flash your headlights
Sound your horn
Use your emergency lights

I have personally tried all of the above without much success,
 so I'm looking for "none of the above" but that is not a choice.
I'm not sure my car has emergency lights, 
but they sound like they
might be useful.  
Really have no clue on this one.
Why is this not an essay test?

6/ The minimum drinking age in this state is ____ years.

18
21
2/9
20 My main thought about this one is: Who cares?   What is this doing on a driver's license test?  Here's a proposed alternative:  If you are about to get behind the wheel,  you should first:  A/ Get drunk   B/ Get your girlfriend drunk  C/ Offer to be the designated driver for your girlfriend's   sorority  so you have your pick of who you want to drive home.   Full credit for either B or C. .