Van Gogh spent the last months of his life at Anvers, a village along the Seine. He is buried there, with his brother, Theo, and it's where he did some of his best known paintings and some of his best work, as he spiraled out of control toward his death.
Walking past various spots in the village, the Phantom would stop and say, "Hmmm, that looks familiar. Either I've been here in a former life, or..." Sure enough, there was a painting you can dredge up.
Van Gogh's brother believed in him, and in fact, it was Theo who told Vincent he needed to shift from the dark brown palate to a more colorful palate if he ever hoped to sell a painting. Vincent did, and Voila! Quelle difference!
This tale of brotherly advice resonated with the Phantom and his brother, who walked around the village with the Phantom. On many occasions, over the years, brother had given the Phantom advice, which the Phantom initially resisted, but ultimately followed with success. Going into medicine was one such, but just as important, a variety of pointers for catching passes in football against a brick wall defense, ("Dive!") hitting in baseball, ("If you do not swing that bat, I'm going to walk right out there and kick your butt at home plate, in front of everyone." Three hits that day.) But the piece de resistance concerned a change in his swimming stroke, which the Phantom insisted would never work, but finally relented and tried what brother advised, and the very next week beat the county champion (by a nose), thus cementing brother's status as a savant.
Brother is entitled to be buried in a Veteran's cemetery--having been shot at in his swift boat, he is very entitled--but looking at those two graves, he clearly started thinking anew about his final resting place.
Theo died not long after Vincent, and their headstones are protected by a patch of ivy.
Phantom,
ReplyDeleteHow lucky, considering how much you like Van Gogh, to have had the town which provided so much inspiration and where he is buried, on your trip itinerary. His grave looks like one he would approve of-simple, ivy covered and next to the most important constant in his life, his brother Theo. I can see why touring the place with your own brother would have special meaning. Our relationship with our siblings are often the longest ones we'll ever have-greater in length than the ones we have with our parents, spouse or children, so it's certainly a blessing when the relationship is a good one. It would seem difficult to overestimate the influence our siblings have on us-we are all, in large part, the product of the presence or absence of them. Brothers always seemed a particularly potent relationship, and some have probably helped shape history for better or worse... Would JFK achieved his slim win in 1960 without the dogged hard work of his brother Bobby. More importantly, on a more basic level, would JFK have been the man we all think we know-confident and assured-without the lifelong admiration of his younger siblings. He had to have derived significant strength from his relationship with Bobby in particular, a brother who was devoted, loyal and always had his back... It's no coincidence older siblings frequently end up in leadership positions. As you have pointed out on more than one occasion- we become good at what we practice.-and as an older sibling myself, I can attest that older sibs are, at an early age, quite experienced at telling people what to do...
Oh and examples of the significance of brothers abound...would man have achieved flight as early as he did had there only been one Wright ? ..,. Would Jesse James have been able to knock off enough banks to become a legend of the Wild West without the faithful assistance of his brother Frank?..... It does sound like you are very fortunate to have your wise brother, the purveyor of sage advice, in your life-but he is equally as fortunate to have you...
Maud
Maud,
ReplyDeleteMay be why older sibs choose mates who were younger sibs: You just cannot have two bossy people in one marriage.
My own wife raised her three younger brothers, and my older brother's wife is a younger sister in her family. (Or, as she says, "A doormat.") We younger sibs can deal with the bossy organizers. We are ducks and the rain just rolls off our backs.
Not sure I agree we are in large part the product of the presence or absence of our siblings. That is certainly possible when the family remains intact and geographically close. Do agree sibs are a touchstone, and yes, I've known my brother longer than any person on the planet.
But, as Frank Underwood observed, we are nothing more or less than what we choose to reveal. I suspect your sibs reveal quite a lot to you, although possibly they reveal less than you realize.
Phantom
Phantom,
ReplyDeleteI may have overstated the importance of siblings by insinuating their presence is most important to our development-when what I should have said is their presence is one of a few things central to who we become. When I say their absence is important as well, I don't mean geographical absence, I mean non existent absence as in only child. It seems only children are as effected by their lack of siblings as we are by their presence...
I'm quite certain you are correct that my sibs have their own secrets they don't reveal...Frank Underwood's observation is an interesting one-and probably true at least as far as our relations with others are concerned..but aren't there two facets to everyone-the person we choose to reveal to others, as well as our interior self-the one that knows everything-what we choose to reveal and what we choose not to...
Maud
Professor Maud,
ReplyDeleteYou have elevated the plane of this blog far above my poor capacity to respond.
1. Yes, when you tease out effects, it is instructive to look at the absence of sibs--the only child. This is the classic scientific approach, the academic approach. You have clearly benefited from a liberal arts education.
I am glad we had a second child--more or less over my objections. What a loss had we not had him and I'd have never known. But more the loss to our first child.
2. You, of course, are always more critical of thought than I--I was swept away by the originality of the idea, and you are not one to be swept away. Thinking about what you say, this implies even more than a "moral compass" but a center of self, which is more or less solid and "knows everything." I can accept you may have such a core--from the evidence of your past comments on this blog. I'm not so sure I have this. If I do, it is likely more like the earth's core--more fluid, or even molten lava.
I suspect part of us is not fixed and all knowing, but changes as we encounter new people and new circumstances. This is not to say we are all Zelig's, who simply conform, like Silly Putty to the world around us, but we do form and respond and reshape as we encounter new factors, like viruses which mutate and adapt.
Maybe this is all about birth order--you are an older sister and you know what's right and what's what. I am a younger brother and I do not.
Let me know where I can send my tuition payment.
Phantom
Why Phantom this presents an awkwardly amusing situation-you believe you are corresponding with someone who possesses an inner self that "knows everything" and the best you can do is the title "Professor".. with an interior mind like that, I should think "Omnipotent Deity" would be for fitting....Unfortunately neither title actually applies, since this is apparently another case of my failure to make myself clear-when I spoke of an inner self that "knows everything" I meant about oneself-that we know our own secrets. Alas, I was not referring to an inner self that "knows everything" about the universe and beyond. My inner self may that of an older sister, but it is often as bewildered by things as the next guy.Sorry to disappoint you...It's interesting how we perceive ourselves vs. how others perceive us vs. how we believe we are being perceived. As you say, we all have our blind spots-but it seems we are more critical of ourselves than others are-or hopefully the others that matter. I'm reminded of an old print I have that I really like-it reads " A friend is not a feller who is taken in by sham, a friend is one who knows our faults and doesn't give a damn." That's the kind of friends I want, that's the kind of friends we deserve-if only we could be that kind of a friend to ourselves more often...Anyway--Happy New Year Phantom, I hope your 2015 is filled with happiness, good health and good fortune...
ReplyDeleteMaud
Maud,
ReplyDeleteThanks for the good wishes.
You know I hope the same for you, and for your family.
I suspect you, like Michael Corleone, have had the mantel of leadership thrust upon you by circumstance and are the leader of your clan--I would not use the term "Godfather."
I did understand you were not speaking of "knowing everything" about the universe, but only about your own inner thoughts and feelings. You write with great precision and rarely leave things that ambiguous. Trying to emulate your clarity, I avoided the use of the word "omniscient" deliberately.
I suspect you believe you know yourself quite completely, that the self you present to others is precisely the self you want to present, knowing what you are with holding and why.
I am not so self possessed. I'm not always sure I know what I want or why or exactly which part of me is in the ascendance at a given moment. One of my professors once told me there are some people who are more "intuitive" than "rational" and he thought I was the former. He said that is not a criticism or bad thing; we need both.
He claimed the intuitive allows us to see past the presentation of self to the currents which flow beneath the surface. There is no way to test that hypothesis, far as I know.
But if that is true, it is also true I've always wanted to be the "rational" and admire those folks who are. That may be the appeal of Francis Underwood, Michael Corleone, you and others who know who they are at core, if there is such a thing as "core."
Well, so much for philosophy and pseudo-psychology.
We'll see what 2015 has to offer.
Phantom