Monday, December 29, 2025

The Profit Motive In Medicine





A vascular surgeon at Portsmouth Regional Hospital mentioned in his profile in the catalog of doctors that he had "trained with Dr. DeBakey," which caught the Phantom's attention. Everyone else listed their medical school, residency and fellowship training program but for this guy saying, "Baylor, Houston Methodist" would not do, as he may have thought that wouldn't mean much to New Englanders, but that DeBakey name would.  This particular surgeon became locally famous for never doing surgery. Mostly, he did not respond to consult requests, but on the rare occasions he did respond, he declined to operate. This can get the attention of the ICU staff when faced with a patient with a cold blue leg needing an arterial bypass. At his two year review, it was pointed out to this surgeon he had done only two surgeries and that did not justify the expense of his salary, and he disappeared.

That sort of extreme desultory behavior is unusual in medicine and, in particular, in surgery, but it is likely the sort of story administrators love to trot out to show how important it is to have administrators riding herd on doctors who would otherwise not show up to work.

In the Phantom's own department were two other doctors and one, a woman with two kids below the age of three, saw patients Monday through Thursday but on Friday she showed up in scrubs (rather than a white coat and dress) for her "surgical day," during which she did thyroid ultrasounds and, when necessary ultrasound guided needle biopsies of thyroid nodules. On those days, she saw only about four patients, rather than the usual 20-25 and she was home to her kids by noon. She missed days when her kids got sick and she was out for 3 months after the birth of one child. So, at her two year review it was pointed out that the number of dollars she generated compared to that of her two colleagues was substantially less and her salary would be cut.





She immediately resigned, in a huff, having stayed 3 years at this practice and she moved on. In that, she was in the mainstream of her cohort--many if not most young women physicians moved every three years when they learned they would not receive a raise in pay.

So, yes, the Phantom is aware that not every doctor is driven and a work horse. The idea that we are workers like any other sort of workers, and we move from job to job, from patient panel to patient panel based on the dollars is now accepted as a fact of life.



On the other hand, there are instances where the profit motive drives medical practice into dark places. 

The hospital in Portsmouth was run by a for profit corporation. It was set up as most systems were set up in those days: the hospital itself was flanked by two office buildings with doctors' offices which contained practices covering most medical specialties: including neurology,  rheumatology, oncology, endocrinology, and primary care. Unlike cardiology and gastroenterology which have lucrative procedures to bill, these "cognitive" practices broke even or even, some years, lost a little money in billings v overhead. 

The general concept is that the office practices "fed" the hospital, sending patients to the ER, to radiology, to the laboratories and all the other "in patient services." While doing so, the office practices provided care for the communities which surrounded the hospital.


But on day,  the administrators in Nashville looked at the corporate offices and they shut down the break even practices and saved a lot of overhead--office rent, staffing, phones, supplies. Primary care physicians were replaced with nurse practitioners and physicians' assistants, who cost less and could be booked for a patient every 10 to 15 minutes.

It turned out, the hospital could be "fed" by a few Urgent Care Centers placed in neighboring towns and the volume of hospital business pumped along just fine, with no drop in ER visits or radiology studies or lab studies ordered.


Mad Cow Disease



The administrators who did this were not bad people, certainly not monsters: they were simply doing their jobs, which was to increase profit, to increase the value of the corporation for the shareholders. They were, we heard later, "heroes" back in Nashville for having cut all that overhead.

Of course, all those patients with arthritis, diabetes, cancer, chronic lung disease back in Portsmouth, New Hampshire and in the surrounding communities were now bereft of care, but that was not the job, the mission of the administrators in Nashville, whose job was to increase profit. 




One day, a patient showed up at the Phantom's office with a letter from his insurance company informing him they would no longer cover the cost of his insulin pump and its supplies. His type 1 diabetes had been spectacularly well controlled for five years on his pump, with HbA1c levels, which measure overall blood sugar control in the normal range. But that did not please the insurance company. Somewhere, someone in the insurance company, reviewing the medical records we dutifully supplied the company, saw these normal numbers and said, "Oh, these numbers are all normal! We do not need to continue to pay for someone who is now normal, who no longer has disease!"

As if "tight glycemic control" is actually "cure."

The Phantom tried to telephone "the company," between patients but got nothing but the "your call is very important to us, please hold on," and he assigned a medical assistant who wound her way up the line of clerks and "patient care facilitators" and "community health advocates" and kept asking for a doctor for the Phantom to speak to--a "peer to peer," exercise where one doctor talks to another, the treating doctor and the insurance company doctor. It turned out the patient's insurance company had subdivisions and the part that insured the diabetes might have been different from the rest of his health insurance--it was never clear. In the end, by the time the Phantom's medical assistant went home at five p.m., having not been able to attend to any other patient that day, leaving the Phantom to call in prescriptions and do all the clerical stuff she usually did, and slowing down the machinery of the office that day so patients were kept waiting impatiently, there was no solution to the problem.

Delay, deny, desist. 

So, the health insurance company, like the company which ran the medical practices at Portsmouth, was profit driven. Private enterprise, devoted to reducing costs and keeping a tight rein on the budget. 



There may be other services which are not best run by private enterprise in search of keeping their organizations lean and mean: power companies, water companies, highway and bridge maintenance, meat and food inspections, fire fighting, police, coast guard, the Navy--things where cutting costs undermine the basic provision for the common good.

But somehow, all these other "public services" are accepted as better organized to service the public good rather than to serve profit. 

Alexandre Yersin, Conqueror of Plagu



In America, health care not for profit is communism, socialized medicine and a sign of impending doom.

And, oddly, the very people most likely to rail against socialized medicine benefit from their own socialized medical care:  military medicine, VA medicine and health insurance for US Congressmen and Senators (which is provided through an insurance so generous as to be basically government owned.)



So, we beat on, boats carried by the current, rudderless, drifting past riverbanks, headed toward the sea of oblivion.

Thursday, December 4, 2025

The Imaginary University

 


Should you be fortunate enough to be admitted to the three year Phantom University,* and insane enough to matriculate, your course work will vary according to your major, which you may construct for yourself, or simply follow as outlined by the various academic departments, but  whether an engineering, pre med or philosophy major, you will be required to complete satisfactorily the three year course, "Introduction to Nothing In Particular," and the reading list is long, although entertaining. 

Phantom University


Woe be to any student who arrives in class having not read the book for discussion, because AI and Cliffs notes or Wikipedia will not save you. You will be called upon in class to comment on a particular remark, passage and you won't have time to Google it. Attendance is mandatory. Class participation is mandatory, may be excruciating, but that is the point. Education at Phantom University requires engagement, or "l'engagement" as the French would say, which means exactly the same thing but sounds so much cooler in French.

Humanities Quad


So here's the list, to be picked up, hopefully second hand, at the bookstore, or on Kindle, or signed out from your library online. How you come by the texts is of no concerned to Professor Phantom--did I mention Professor Phantom, the President of the University, teaches this course without teaching assistants?-- the only concern is that you have actually read the piece under discussion.

Library


Semester 1, Year 1: 6 weeks  (Female in a Man's World)

1. The Prime of Miss Jean Brodie, Muriel Spark.

(Extra credit: See the Maggie Smith movie, compare and contrast)

2. Play It As It Lays, Joan Didion

3. Memoirs of an Ex- Prom Queen, Alix Kates Shulman (Extra Credit: Living My Life, Emma Goldman)

4. Final Payments, Mary Gordon 

5. The New York Ride, Anne Bernays

6. The Last Picture Show, Larry McMurty

(Required: See the Movie directed by Peter Bogdanovitch)

Semester 2, year 1,  6 weeks (Origin Story)

7. The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn, Mark Twain

8. Silence At Appomattox, Bruce Catton

9. Animal Farm, George Orwell

10. The Guarded Gate, Daniel Okrent

11. Goodbye to Berlin, Christopher Isherwood

Extra Credit: Movie, "Cabaret"

12. Before the Deluge, Otto Friedrich



Semester 1, year 2, 6 weeks: (Quiet Desperation)

13. Looking for Mr. Goodbar, Judith Rosner

14. Little Big Man, Thomas Berger

(Alternate: The Movie--Dustin Hoffman)

15. The Pawnbroker, Edward Lewis Wallant

(Alternate: The Movie--Rod Steiger)

16. Miss Lonelyhearts & The Day of the Locust, Nathaniel West

17. The Bell Jar, Sylvia Plath

18. Slouching Toward Bethlehem, Joan Didion



Semester 2, year 2, 6 weeks (The Grand Sweep and those Swept Up)

19., 20. A People's History of the United States, Howard Zinn

21.West with the Night, Beryl Markham

22,23., Dark Continent, Mark Mazower

24. War Is A Force That Gives Us Meaning, Christopher Hedges



Semester 1, year 3, 6 weeks (Class, Society &  Self)

25. My War Gone By, I Miss It So, Anthony Lloyd

26, 27. Battle Cry of Freedom, James McPherson

28. White Trash, Nancy Isenberg

29. Lady Chatterly's Lover, D.H. Lawrence

Required movie: Laure de Clermont-Tonnerre director

30. The Wire, Season 1



Semester 2, Year 3 (Alienation by Fire)

31. The Wire Season 3

32. The Wire Season 4

33. The Paranoid Style in American Politics, Richard Hofstadter

34. If I Die In A Combat Zone, Tim O'Brien

35. The Stranger, Albert Camus

36. Parachute Infantry, David Kenyon Webb



* Phantom University offers BA, MD and JD degrees. The undergraduate program is 3 years, as are the graduate programs, following the British model, which seems to produce better educated individuals in 3/4 of the time it takes American universities. 

The campus is located above the 41st parallel, as the Phantom, its founder, believes no university located below this latitude can provide enough adversity to be a real university: To wit, the universities at Santa Barbara, New Orleans, anywhere in Florida are just too amenable to homo sapiens to foster any sort of honing of survival instincts. It's a variant of "I walked 5 miles through the snow to school." 



The buildings and architecture are neo-Hogwarts and the faculty is aged, sometimes decrepit and hand selected by the Phantom on the basis of actual, true, brain certified scholarship. 

For example, the Dean of Students, and head of the Department of What Matters is a graduate of the University of New Hampshire at Keene State and is the most thorough going scholar the Phantom has yet met--she never fails to read the footnotes, the references and the references within the references. She asks embarrassing questions whenever possible, and is simply the smartest person in the room on every occasion, and she has been in the room with Larry Summers, Bernie Sanders and Scott Brown. She denies knowing Jeffrey Epstein but cannot recall if she has ever met him.




Admission requirements are so exacting and discriminatory that no student has yet qualified for admission, but the Phantom remains hopeful. 




SAT's and ACT's are optional, but won't impress anyone. Starring roles in feature length films will be considered as part of the admission portfolio, but applicants are warned that the film criticism department has been known to make Pauline Kael look like a shill for People Magazine, and they will review your performance. 


Applicants who are certified in plumbing, HVAC, electrician services may be granted full scholarships on a work/study basis. (The buildings are old.) Auto mechanics, same deal.

Military veterans will be considered on a case by case basis, or on a war by war basis, whichever applies. 



Athletes are welcomed, but the university competes in no leagues and has no stadium.  

Swimming, baseball, wrestling, crew, tennis, rugby, football, golf are supported, in that order, but there are no coaches. 

State of the art gymnasium, weight rooms, swimming pool and fields are supported just as soon as we find rich patrons to write the checks.



Theatre arts, film making and film criticism are highly valued and may be your ticket into the school, just as soon as we get Spielberg, Geffen or Tom Hanks to write the checks. 

Music is a high priority, but the university has refused to support faculty until it can offer enough salary to make it worth their while. So far, Josh Redmond, Herbie Hancock and Susan Tedeschi have not been approached because we could never pay them what they would be worth.

Painting, sculpting and such like are allowed, but not supported. Rooms may not be heated, although northern light is provided.



 



A university infirmary is available just as soon as Elizabeth Warren gets the bill through Congress, with prevention of sexually transmitted diseases a priority. We know the demographic we are dealing with here. Also contraception.



The university does not embrace "diversity" although it's happy when it happens in our classes, but we are not talking about race here, to which we are indifferent, but class. "Inclusion" is a given. If you are admitted, you are in, or included or whatever you want to call it. "Equity" is discouraged, as people who decide to read all the assigned stuff will be treated way better than people who fail to engage the assignments, who will be expelled for non participation. 




Geographic distribution is not a priority. Race is not considered. If we find ourselves with a class of 400 Asians or Blacks or Blonde Caucasians, we will be happy if we think these are the best individuals we can find. 


 

 




Interviews on campus are required. Transportation to campus will be paid for by the university, just as soon as we can get Delta airlines to buy in. 

All rooms on campus are singles. 

Grades are recorded for each student for each course, but not shared with the student. 

Faculty are not required to write letters of recommendation for students, but if you are any good, they typically don't mind.



Students must vacate the campus the day after graduation and are never allowed back on campus and cannot contribute to the university thereafter.

The university will certify students have graduated but otherwise wants nothing to do with you once you are gone from campus.